If It Means A Lot To You
by she lives in a daydream
Summary: 'Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past. It might be for the best...' / A collection of one-shots, set in the world of "Does Your Husband Know."
1. Therapy

_Why, hello there, you sexy bitches. (: First off, let me say that I would highly suggest reading 'Does Your Husband Know?' before you read this story/series of one-shots. The reason I say this is because all of these one-shots in this 'story' will be set during the time-frame of DYHK and or before or after the story line itself. I guess you could read this first one without having of read the story, but I'd still say go read it. And to those of you who HAVE read the story... Well, hello again. Glad to see you're back for more. :D Remember, I'm still taking requests for side-stories! I'm not letting my baby go. Not yet._

_Er, so let's just put it this way ... Essentially, these are the outtakes to my other story. Instead of posting them onto the actual story, I've made them their own 'story'. For me, it's a way to keep the clutter out - yes, they're related to the story, but no, they're not the actual story ... if that makes sense? Er, that's my slight OCD kicking in. Ironic enough that I have OCD for writing, but cleaning my room? Yeah, fuck that._

_So what is this one? Well, this one is something I introduced in Does Your Husband Know? as to why Christian could relate to Rose so well and why he was supportive of her decision. And, only one person guessed it ... but the hint was so small that it could have been easily over looked. (: This is probably about ... oh, three to four years before the story itself? Maybe three to two ... something like that. I'm bad with details like this. ): Now, keep in mind that while I may have been drunk before, I have not been so drunk to the point where I don't remember anything ... and it's kind of hard writing about drunk people, trololol._

_Oh, and yes, these one-shots will mostly be done in chronological order, which is why I did Christan's secret first, because it's the 'oldest' in the list of outtakes I have. This is subject to change as I start writing these and what I feel like writing. Actually, hell, it probably won't be. I don't know. I just wanted to do this one first.  
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_More will be said at the bottom, because this is already a long ass AN and I need to put a disclaimer._

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I, Ashleigh, swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The truth? I don't own the characters in _Vampire Academy. _The sexy ass Richelle Mead owns those clever bitches. I don't own _If It Means A Lot To You _by A Day To Remember, because I'm musically challenged. I don't own any of the other song lyrics seen in the story - again, musically and creatively challenged. I do own my OCs that may be mentioned from time to time, my sick and twisted mine, and a cat pillow pet. What's that? You're jealous you don't have a cat pillow pet? Oh, what a damn shame. ;D **No copyright infringement is intended. All rights reserved. ©;**

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><p><strong>If It Means A Lot To You<br>_she lives in a daydream._**_  
><em>

_"A handful of moments I wish I could change, but I was carried away.."  
><em>Therapy, All Time Low.

They weren't kidding when they told me that being a firefighter wasn't easy. Hell, even Rose told me that – and she was a mother fucking police officer, or well, working her way into being a police officer. The police academy, the fire academy – it was all the same thing, for the most part. In one of them, you learned how to deal with criminals and the other, you learned how to deal with fires. Interchangeable, really.

This would explain why I'm being such a bibulous person and crying into my drink. The past few months had been nothing but absolute hell for me. Being the new guy was never pleasant, and the fire department, just like any other mother fucking job out there, had a 'ritual'. It wasn't hazing, per say – but dammit, it might as well have been.

With a sigh, I slammed the shot class down against the table, and the bar tender looked at me. I raised an eyebrow; the son of a bitch had already heard my story as to why I was drinking away my sorrows in the shape of a bottle, instead of being a good boyfriend and going home to my girlfriend.

Girlfriend. My head pounded at the thought of that. I had been dating Lissa for what … four months? Something of that nature? I was too damn drunk to even properly know. But what I did know was that I had been dating her for less than half a year and I loved her already. It was that thought that scared me – four months and I was already in love. Jesus Christ, what if she didn't feel the same way? Then I would just look like a fool and loose the women I was damn sure I was going to marry.

"Why so gloom and doom?" I turned my head to see a young girl – maybe nineteen, eighteen at the youngest – standing next to me. How the hell did she get into the bar? There was no way that she was twenty-one. Oh, that's right, I was in the fucking sleaziest bar in all of mother fucking Missoula because it was the cheapest and most unlikely place to where anyone would look for me. She had jade green eyes that looked so much like Lissa's and brown hair that fell in a mess of tangles.

Hell, she was cute. A smirk played on my lips. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart. It's something your pretty little brain couldn't handle." I tapped her nose with my finger and chuckled. It was amazing how quickly her facial expression changed from curious to annoyed. "Aren't you a little young to be here, anyways? What are you, eighteen?"

"Does age really matter? I think what matters is the fact that my good old daddy dearest owns this place." My thoughts sobered up as I took in the girl. I was beyond drunk; it was hard to remember why I was even her- oh, wait, nevermind. She took a seat next to me and waved at the bartender, who went off to make a drink. Her head titled to the side, her bangs falling in front of her face. She was getting cuter by the minute – not that she wasn't already cute before. Suddenly, the concept of having a girlfriend just blew my mind.

"I repeat: why so gloom and doom, Mr. Firefighter?"

That got my attention. My head snapped up as I looked at her, where she had a soft smile on her lips. Her previous look of annoyance had passed, and it was now full of true, genuine concern. Given my sarcastic nature, I knew that it was the heavy alcohol speaking, not my own thoughts. I was shit-faced enough that I wasn't processing thoughts properly. "How do you know I'm a firefighter?"

"You still have half of your uniform on."

"Oh."

The bartender reappeared with two drinks, one for her and one for me. I waved at him and he rolled his eyes in response and muttered something that I couldn't even hear. Not that it really mattered anymore – this person next to me was highly interesting. Her laughter filled the area and it … it was so _different_ than the laughter I was used to, which was generally Lissa's.

"Do I seriously have to ask this question a third time?"

"I don't know. Do you?"

She rolled her eyes in frustration as she took a few gulps of her drink. I looked down at mine and realized it was almost halfway gone. When the hell had it all disappeared. The persistent look in her eyes made me falter, however. I ran a hand through my hair. "You really wanna hear my pathetic sob story?" She nodded and I sighed. "I'm twenty-one years old. I joined the fire department a couple of months ago. Since I was born, I've always wanted to be a firefighter. The academy was fine … the job? Not so much. I'm the new guy – the guy that nobody wants to fucking deal with because I don't know _shit_. And then, on top of all that shit, I lost my partner today."

My heart clenched. I had only known the guy for a couple of months – he the man who was training me, and now he was fucking dead. "Dead! Fucking dead! Went into a fire and his mask malfunctioned; he died within fifteen minutes, at least!" I took a violent sip from the bottle and slammed it back down on the table. "_That's _why I'm so god damn mother fucking doom and gloom. You wanna know the best part? Everyone's fucking blaming _me_, like it's somehow my own god damn fault that he fucking got killed."

I stopped. I couldn't believe I had actually just told her all of that. How many drinks had I consumed? At least four shots … two other strong drinks … I couldn't even tell anymore. Jesus Christ, I was becoming a drunk. I was going to turn into Adrian.

Her eyes widened and I looked down at the bottom of my glass again. The memory was too painful; I was constantly reliving it – I never, _ever_ in my life had had anything so painful, so fresh and so raw target me like this one had. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I cringed. It was Lissa's ringtone – she knew what had happened today, because I had been at the hospital getting cleaned up by her … but I just didn't want to talk with her. Ignoring her was probably a bad, bad, _bad_ idea.

Her arm rested on top of mine and there was a sympathetic look in her eyes. My head titled to the side as I looked at her and I opened my mouth to say something, but her finger found my lips, giving me the signal for 'shut the fuck up.'

"Then I'd like to believe you have every right to be wallowing in your own misery. I can't say that I understand, because I don't – of course I don't … but I know what it's like to be the new person in something you've dreamed about. I grew up in po-dunk middle of fucking of nowhere, Montana, and now I'm thriving in Missoula, making my way through a pre-law degree. That shit's hard, by the way."

Her words were simple, but they made me laugh – laugh more than I probably would have if I was sober. Hell, a lot of my choices would have been different if I was sober – but I wasn't. My body swayed back and forth on the chair as I kept on talking with the girl. I think she said her name, but I didn't remember it. She really was from the middle of nowhere – a town of at least 700 people – and had gotten a scholarship for volleyball, which was how she wound up at Missoula University. I told her a little bit about my life – but it was all very generic, nothing in-depth like her own story. She was a bubbly person by nature, but she held some sort of rigid shyness to her. As we talked, we kept on downing drinks, effectively making my blood alcohol at lethal levels and her getting shit-faced.

So naturally, it surprised the hell out of me when I leaned in and closed the distance between us. Her lips were slightly chapped and she opened her mouth in surprise, but she didn't pull away. My hands managed to pull her closer to my body, although it was highly clumsy. With one hand at her waist and her body pressed against mine, I tangled the other hand into messy curls, noting how ironic it was that they were incredibly smooth.

We stayed in the lip-lock for awhile. My hands had finally found the hem of her shirt and my fingers traced lightly along her skin, which caused her to shiver. It would have escalated to something more, but my not-so-smooth hands had knocked both of our drinks over. I pulled away from her warm body and noticed a very pissed off bartender glaring at me.

The college girl waved it off, her lips noticeably swollen. "Aaron, take a chill pill. You know I've got this. Don't be pissed because your booty call hasn't called you back yet." His blue eyes flickered with anger and we both snickered at the look on his face as he mumbled something about the girl being a bitch. The words were nothing more than a blur now. I rocked back on my chair as she dug into her purse.

"My place?"

I nodded, my mind in nothing more than a buzz. I didn't even think of the consequences that this would have later down the road, if it had any at all. My drinking habit was already down the toilet and it just got worse when I was stressed; something I learned from my father. I wasn't proud of what this was, but I accepted it – I started to get better, for the most part. But there were just some times were nothing in the world mattered and I said fuck it and threw caution to the wind.

This was one of those times.

We stumbled back to her apartment, which was right across from the bar. Even though it was only a hundred yards away, the walk seemed impossible. She was stumbling left and right and I was laughing my ass off at her misery. I was babbling like a fool and making unwise decisions and knew that I would have a killer hangover tomorrow, but it felt good to be numb. It was like I was cutting off all of my ties from the rest of the world. Christ, no wonder Adrian drank so much.

At long last, we managed to make it up the stairs to her apartment and after many attempts of her trying to get the key into the hole, we found our way in. Normally, I would have taken the time to look at the apartment and look at the style she lived in … but not right now. Right now, I had one thing on my mind – the one thing that only mattered in the world, and that was getting her undressed and onto a bed.

The heated kissing began as soon as she shut the door. We were nothing more than a drunken, tangled mess trying to make our way to the bedroom. It seemed like hours, but it was probably only a couple of minutes before we made her way into her room and I placed her on the bed. It was soon as her back hit her bed that she pulled away from my lips.

"Christian…"

I didn't stop. I was kissing the crook of her neck when I mumbled a very incoherent 'what?' She knew what I had said however, and pushed her neck away from my grasp. I sighed as my eyes darted up to hers.

"Are you sure… I mean … I, uh, well, I don't real-" She was nervous and she was rambling, on top of being drunk. I pressed my index finger to her lips, effectively cutting her off. Her appearance was becoming a blur; I couldn't tell if her hair was black or brown anymore. It was a sign that I should stop and that I wouldn't remember anything when I woke up tomorrow, but I was already on the roll. Once I was on the roll, I couldn't stop.

"Yes, I'm sure." I frowned. She was drunk, yes, but she wasn't drunk as me. Maybe she could make a decent thought. I removed my finger from her mouth and replaced it my lips. After a moment, I broke away. For the life of me, I could not remember this girl's name, and it was starting to gnaw at my stomach. "What was your name again?"

"Jill. My name's Jill."

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><p><em>Okay. So I know you're all thinking WHAT THE FUCK. DID HE JUST. WHAT THE FUCK. (no hating please :) Now, let me explain. This idea came from the relationship that Christian and Jill share in Vampire Academy, only obviously very different. Christian was, in a way, sort of entranced by Jill - but this was her determination to learn offensive magic, not in a romantic way. Then Lissa became a jealous and blah blah blah, you get my point. In Does Your Husband Know?, Lissa and Jill don't have a hostility towards each other ... that you know of. ;) Given that they are not related by blood, I still felt the need to portray some legitimate reason for Lissa and Jill to not like each other - or have trouble accepting each other - because I actually like that idea, because it shows a change in Lissa's 'ever so caring' personality. The reason you never saw this was because you never saw Lissa and Jill together in a room, minus the epilogues (and even then, they weren't really 'together in a room')<em>

_I also mentioned in one point - and I believed only one point - that Christian tends to react in a negative way when someone he knows dies, mainly in the form of drinking away his sorrows. Given the fact that he was stressed out from a new job that requires quick thinking and a serious dedication, he lost his partner as well ... and on top of that, he was slightly paranoid about Lissa and how he felt about her, as he had never felt so serious about a women before. Which, alas, led to Christian getting so damn shit-faced that he won't remember a single thing about that night. As many of you know, alcohol seriously impairs your judgement ... which was obviously Christian's case. But just because Christian doesn't remember the night doesn't mean that Jill doesn't. As a matter of fact, Jill remembers this quite well...  
><em>

_And yes, to those of you who have read Does Your Husband Know?, Jackson is Christian's son. The hint itself is very subtle - 'his icy blue eyes, courtesy of his unknown father'. And yes, this one-shot is a two/three-shot. You really think I'd leave you hanging like that? Nah. Or, well, I might. Lololol.  
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_Next up: some little bit of a Rose and Dimitri lemon. Yum. No reviews = no lemon. Le gasp._


	2. The Bad Touch

_Why, hello there. Fancy seeing you here. Oh what's that? You're pissed I took forever to update? Sorry! ):_

_Let me say this - when I was younger, writing lemons was easy. I'm not even kidding, it was so easy. I could just write and it was no big deal. But that was a few years ago, and well, it was kind of a bitch to write. I don't really know why - I have no problem with sex (I have a very sexual personality, or so I've been told) - but I think it was just that this, this story itself, was hard. Or maybe it was because I have like ten billion story ideas in my head and I can only do so many. That might have been it too._

_I can blame school, though. You know, I'm an A and B student. I'm on National Honour Society. I don't get Cs in classes, or even fail tests. Well, that all changed once I decided to take Physics. I took it because it looks good ... and I'm regretting it. The highest test grade I've gotten so far is a 64 percent (though that might change, since I retook a test.) I repeat: I do not fail tests. The whole class is a bunch of great students, and most of us are close to failing. Yes, this is a huge reason for my stress level - it's practically through the roof because of this damn class. LOL. My teacher told me I'd need physics in order to calculate someone's speed and I told him "that's what a radar gun is for." He told me I would need it to figure out how fast I would need to go to catch up and I said "No, I just hit the gas pedal until I catch that person." Needless to say, I don't really think I need physics to be a police officer. (:_

_THAT RANTING ASIDE ... Yeah. Here it is, the lemon. This is my first full blown lemon I've ever posted (or written in a long ass time; it's probably been a couple of years), so be nice. :D_

_Oh, and if you haven't added me on facebook yet, you should do so! You can find me under 'Sliad Fanfiction', and find a whole bunch of information, like teasers, random amazing facts about my life, and a whole bunch of other awesome stuff. Y'know, cause I'm awesome._

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><p><strong>"The Bad Touch"<strong>_  
>"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."<em>  
>The Bad Touch, The Bloodhound Gang.<p>

Dimitri had been holding out on me last night. Last night, his kisses had been heated , yes … but they were chaste compared to this. My lips were melting into his as his hands tangled in my hair, attempting to pull us closer together. It was becoming harder and harder by the moment; it was almost like we were stuck in a rut. We were as close as we could be, yet it wasn't close enough. I hitched my legs around his torso, creating a small sense of friction against his jeans.

His tongue traced along my bottom lip and I moaned softly into his mouth as his hand untangled from my hair and made its way down to the hem of my shirt. I shivered and pulled away from his beautiful lips at that point. That spot – the spot right above the hem line of my jeans – was _my _spot. Dimitri smirked as his fingers traced along that edge and my body withered against his.

"Oh, ungh, Dimitri," I barely managed to breath out as his lips crashed against mine. I was lost in an oblivion now; who was my husband again? I was thinking incoherently, and my thoughts only managed to stop becoming so blurred together only when Dimitri moved down to my neck, surely leaving a hickey there. How was I supposed to explain that one? Oh well, I just wasn't going to worry about that.

His hands found their way to my shirt again. "This," he played with the end of the fabric, rubbing it back and forth between his index and thumb finger. Just even that little action made me wonder what he could do with his hands … those talented, big, hands … "Has to go. _Now_." His accent was heavier and I was more than happy to comply. I lifted my hands up high in the air and the shirt was off in a matter of minutes.

I had never been more thankful that I actually cared about what my bras and panties looked like. A lot of girls argued that it didn't matter most of the time, because people didn't see them - but it _did _matter. It made me feel ten times more confident just by wearing my most racy pair of underclothes.

"Comrade, didn't anyone tell you it's not polite to stare? Yes, they're real. They're a hundred percent real," I leaned in closer to him, my lips brushing against his. I took his hand and placed it on my breasts – it felt natural. With Adrian, there was always that was something that had been … off. "And they're all yours."

A wicked grin spread across his face as his hands traced along my back, lingering at the clasp of my bra. His touch made me practically incoherent. And my God, was he taking _forever _in getting my dram bra off. I took a deep breath as I locked my eyes with his and he unclasped my bra. I felt free as the bra came off and he threw it across the room. Before I could blink, his mouth assaulted my left breast and I withered under his touch.

He wasted no time nipping and sucking at my breast while massaging the other one with his hand. My back arched, allowing his mouth to fully divulge my breast. After a few moments of sucking my left breast, he moved over to the right one, leaving chaste kisses between the valley of my breasts. He repeated the motion, his other hand pleasuring my left breast. His touch was becoming increasingly tougher and I could feel the erection against my body.

"Dimitri," I breathed, and his eyes locked with mine. Christ, he looked so damn good sucking on my breast. I twisted my body, which caused him to unlock his mouth from me, and I found his lips again. He smiled against mine as I pressed him down against the couch again, completely taking control. I liked to take control of the situation, especially in the bedroom. Handcuffs were sort of my specialty.

I'm not sure how it happened, but within the matter of seconds, I was only clad in my underwear, as was Dimitri. I rocked my body against his, creating tremendous amounts of friction between us. He moaned against my body as I rocked faster and faster. He wasn't even inside me and I could already feel the orgasm building in my body.

He must have been thinking the same thing, because his eyes were dark as night. "_Roza_." His accent was so heavy that it was almost hard to understand him. I gave one last thrust with my hips before they buckled. I gave him an innocent smile.

"I know, baby, I know."

That must have been his breaking point, because he used his force to flip me over so that I was underneath him. I giggled as he flipped me over, liking the complete turn of interest. My sex life with Adrian was almost nonexistent, and when it did happen … it was the same old, same old. The comparison made my stomach clench, but the thoughts disappeared as Dimitri tore my underwear off my body.

"So beautiful," he said as his hands explored my body, trailing up from my lips down to my stomach and stopping at that damn spot. I inhaled sharply as his fingers traced along my waist line and he gave a broad smile. Eventually, his fingers moved down, flicking and teasing my clit. My hips buckled when his index and middle finger started to rub my clit in slow, small, circles.

"You like that, baby?"

He really had no idea the affect he had on me. "Oh, _fuck_, yes," I could barely manage three words, this was too much. I took a deep breath as he continued to rub circles, causing me to squirm. "Christ, ungh, fuck, Dimitri, I'm going to…" And just as my orgasm almost exploded, he withdrew his hand. The sensation stopped almost instantly and I whimpered in disappointment. "What the fuck, Dimitri."

He said nothing, but only smiled as his face lowered, and I sighed happily as I realized what he was about to do. He gripped my thighs, spreading them appear further before his mouth completely assaulted my aching core. I arched my back as his tongue darted back and forth against my clit, creating a new sensation. Yet, it wasn't enough. I leaned forward, grabbed his head and pressed my hand against his, indicating that I wanted him to taste me further. My partner was more than happy to comply and I could feel the wetness increasing.

And just like last time, as I felt myself reaching my orgasm, he pulled away. I was starting to get frustrated by this, but didn't care when I felt his lips touch mine. I could taste myself on him and yearned to get his boxers off. With one hand, I reached down and kicked them off, to which he helped with. Once he was fully naked just like me, I pulled away and my mouth dropped open.

_Jesus-Fucking-Christ._

"Yes, it's one hundred percent real and it's all yours." I snorted as he repeated my earlier words as I reached out my hand to grab his fully erect length, feeling the soft flesh in my hands. It had been awhile since I had given a handjob, considering how Adrian and I just had intercourse and were kind of done for the most part.

We shifted our position, and I found it much easier to do this. My fingers traced lightly along his head, noticing the slight, small drip of pre-cum. I placed my index finger over it, feeling the luberaction, and then slid my hand down his length in a slow, agonizing pain – at least for him. Oh, I knew what I was doing, just as he knew what he was doing to me.

His hands gripped the side of the couch as I continued to move up and down, increasing my speed and hold as the time went on. Dimitri was in the same boat as I was, but I was fascinated by the fact that he was acting like a teenager. I could see it clearly on his face that he was almost as his breaking point, and that's when I pulled away, a cheeky grin on my face.

"Roza," he growled and I kept the smile on his face. His eyes were black with lust and at that moment, I knew that I needed him inside me. I moved in to kiss him, but he pulled away. "Wait a moment," he said as he stood up. I frowned. What the hell would I be waiting for? God dammit, I wanted him now. He chuckled at my expression and disappeared down the hallway. This would have been a serious buzzkill if he didn't return so quickly, holding a small, square package in his hands.

"If I didn't, you'd kill me in the morning. And, well, it's better safe than sorry," he said as he moved closer, tearing the condom wrapper with his teeth. He sat down again and I took the condom wrapper from his hands and unraveled it before I slowly slid it down his length. He let out another growl as he pushed me down against the couch, hovering over me. I could feel the pool of wetness coming from my core, it was such a turn on.

He positioned himself at my entrance, but didn't go in. Instead, he rubbed his dick up against my clit, something I hadn't experienced before. His lips found mine as he pulled away after a few moments, and slowly slid into me. It was the moment I had been waiting for, and it couldn't have been anymore perfect.

Dimitri rocked his body into mine, his skin slapping against mine. I rotated my hips in slight circles, basking in the movement in my body. This was what sex was supposed to be like; mind-blowing, earth-shattering, 'I can't think straight' – not a quickie and then be done. It had been some time since I had some mind-blowing sex and Dimitri certainly was giving me that mind blowing factor.

I tried to say something, but the words weren't forming in my mouth. Dirty talk was something that I was normally good at – hell, I thrived off the dirty talk, and I didn't really know what to make of the fact that I could barely speak. It was nerve racking and incredibly thrilling at the same time. He continued to push himself further into me, and I could feel myself tightening around him.

"I swear to God, if you pull out this time, I will fucking kill you," I said with a completely serious tone. Dimitri chuckled as his lips pressed against mine, which only added to my sensitive sensation. I was so close, so incredibly close… He gave one last thrust, and I was gone. I was completely gone to the world and my walls came crashing down.

"Sweet baby Jesus," I stated as he picked up his pace before stopping, his face filled with pleasure. His lips were still pressed against mine and I felt the smile on them. His hands slid up to my stomach as he pulled out of me. A frown fell on my lips as he pulled out, and he snorted.

"What? Do you think I'm done with you? Oh no. No, I've got eight months of built up sexual frustration with you, Roza. No, this is only the beginning over a very long night," He teased.

By the end of that night, every single square inch of that house had been christened by us.

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><p><em>Mmmmm.<em>

_I think next will either be part two to the Christian/Jill trilogy (oh snap trolol) or some Adrian and Jill action. I've become obsessed with the song 'Finding Myself' by Smile Empty Soul (omg go listen to it now) and I find it very fitting for Adrian in DYHK. Poor, poor, baby~_

_Review. Or, um, you'll find a spider crawling over you in your bathroom. (Trolol, this happened to me a little bit ago. It's why I am wide awake. ):_


	3. Someday

_Trolol, you guys! I wasn't supposed to be even working on this until next week! Oh well. I couldn't help myself. I actually wanted to do this before the lemon, but I promised the lemon first... and once I started writing, I just couldn't stop. I mean it. (:_

_So, here is part two to the Christian/Jill trilogy. It's told in Jill's POV and is about two months after they slept together. And, for those of you who are wondering, Lissa will find out in the final part, which will be in Christian's POV, so stop asking. Hahaha._

_Um, don't expect me to update so fast the next time... hahaha._

_And remember: add me on facebook for teasers and other awesome/random facts about my life. (:_

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><p><strong>"Someday"<strong>_  
>"Someday, somehow, I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now. I know you're wondering when."<br>_Someday, Nickelback._  
><em>

It was official. I hated my life.

God, how stupid could I have been? Was I really as naïve as people said I was? No, that was a lie – I had been incredibly naïve when I was younger, but things changed. I was eighteen – almost nineteen – now, and was working my way through college. I was a smart girl; I knew what I wanted to do and would almost stop at nothing to get it. Hell, I was even working as a secretary in a law firm right now!

I took a deep breath as I leaned back against my chair at my desk, in my pathetic attempt not to cry. I was at work; I needed to keep my emotions in check. However, that was almost impossible – keeping my emotions in check was something that was completely laughable. I was miserable, and I was pretty sure that I looked like hell. I always liked to keep myself in professional attire, but today, I just didn't even care. My hair was a mess and my make up was smeared from my crying.

"Talk to me." I snapped out of my thoughts and stared up at my boss, who wore a curious look on his face. God dammit, I really didn't want him to see me like this – wasn't he supposed to be home sick or something? My hands clenched together as I bit my bottom lip. "Jill, it's pointless. I'm not stupid; I know something is going on and it's killing you on the inside. You know that I'm here for you, right?"

This was one of the many things I adored about my boss. He was smart, funny, and incredibly talented in the field of law. Yes, he was new – but he had such raw potential that it didn't even matter anymore. We had connected right away after I told him I wanted to be a defense lawyer, and he was more than willing to help me through law school. I had only known him a little under a year and he was already like the older brother I never had.

I ran my hands through my hair as I looked around; it was just Adrian and I. His green eyes were filled with concern and I gulped. "I fucked up, Adrian. I fucked up big time. It was just one night! I was so frustrated and upset and he was so charming and so … so broken … and I did nothing to stop it and I messed up, oh fucking hell, I messed up big time…" I was rambling at this point as Adrian sat down in a chair across from my desk.

"Rambling isn't going to help you, sweetheart. Don't make me be redundant and repeat what I already told you."

"I'm pregnant."

I watched his expression carefully. His face was full of shock, plus a twinge of anger. I crouched back into my chair, waiting for the 'how could you be so irresponsible?' speech. My own anger flared and I could feel the onset of emotions already. The next seven months were going to be hell.

"Don't look at me like that, Adrian Ivashkov! Did you just not hear me say that I know I royally fucked up?" I huffed a sigh as I crossed my arms against my chest. "Whatever, you would have known eventually. It was a one-night stand and I'm about ninety nine percent sure the condom broke, but I don't really even know anymore." Adrian looked slightly uncomfortable at my directness, but I shrugged it off. I didn't even care anymore. I stood up from my desk and grabbed my purse.

"I'm going out to talk to the father. I'll be back in a little bit. Please, for the love of God, don't give me some mentor speech about my options when I get back; abortion and adoption are out of the question." I dug for my keys in my purse and finally found them, not even bothering to look back at my boss.

"Jill, I'm not mad. I'm shocked, but I'm not mad. I'm also incredibly nervous for you, because you're only eighteen, er, almost nineteen, and you have so much going for you," Adrian stated and I turned around. I wished my parents would have said that; they didn't even care. They were two drunks who tried to successfully own one of the sleaziest bars in town. The tears prickled in my eyes again as he sighed and held out his arms. "Come here, you."

I did as I was told and flung myself into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around me and held me in a tight embrace. "Please don't cry. I know that it's going to be hard, but really, I'm here for you. I already promised you that I'll help you through your school and law school. I know that Rose will be more than happy to help you out, as well. In the long run, it's going to be okay, Jailbait."

"Don't call me that," I sniffled as I wiped my eyes. His words touched me, because I knew he wasn't lying. He and Rose were great – they had been great to me and I knew that they would always be great to me, no matter my situation. Rose and Adrian were like the older siblings I never had.

"I'll always call you that, for as long as you live. You'll be in court, kicking ass, and I'll be like 'Hey Jailbait, good job!' in front of everyone," Adrian chuckled. "Seriously, though … we'll be here for you. Go talk to him. And remember, we're always just a phone call away." He kissed my forehead before unlatching himself from the hug, and I sniffled.

"Thanks, Adrian."

"Anytime, Jailbait."

_**Half an hour later… **_

I didn't even want to talk to him. I was one hundred percent sure that he didn't even remember that night, simply because he had been wasted beyond all oblivion. We had been safe, but apparently, that wasn't enough. God must have really been pissed off at me. I clenched the steering wheel as I came to a stop in the fire department parking lot. I could just turn around right now and pretended that this never happened and just not let him know…

But I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that because I knew that I would see him on more than one occasion, because he was connected to Rose and Adrian. Seeing him would be unavoidable, and he just … he _had _to know, didn't he? My heart was telling me yes and my mind was telling me no. If I was a coward and this was a perfect world, I would have backed away right then and there and just left it at that.

But I was no coward and this was not a perfect world.

I slammed the car door shut and made my way towards the front entrance. My heart beat was increasing with every step I took towards the entrance and it was almost impossible to control my shaking hands. I didn't need to be a psychic to know that this wouldn't go over well. For one, I knew that he was dating someone – someone who I thought was pretty decent – and two, well, if he remembered that night, then he was a fucking superhero.

My heels clicked against the hardwood floor as I moved through the door to the receptionist. I recognized the man faintly, only simply because he was in my sophomore English class. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I approached the desk and gave him a smile. "Hi. Can I speak to Christian Ozera, please?"

The boy – Brent, I believe – looked up from the book he was reading and gave me a smile in return. "Hey Jill. Yeah, just go on through the doors; he'll be down the hall and to your left, first door on your right. He should be in his office." He pressed a button on the desk and the door to the left swung open.

I replied with my thanks and darted through the door, following Brent's instructions. The fire department held a similar feeling to the hospital; it was almost cold and unwelcoming. I assumed that most services, such as the fire and police department, were like this. The vomit rose in my throat as I found myself looking at an open door with _him _in it.

He was hunched over his desk, looking intently at a file. His face was pushed together in frustration and my stomach did a backflip. Did I really want to go through with this? Yes, yes, I did. If I didn't go through with this, I would regret it for the rest of my life and constantly be miserable. I didn't want to be miserable; the thought of being miserable terrified me.

I knocked on his door, and he looked up. There was no shock or recognition on his face, so he clearly didn't remember me. Great, that would make this so much harder. I gave him a tight smile. "Hi, Christian Ozera?" He nodded, a confused look on his face. "My name is Jill. Do you mind if we talk for a moment?"

Something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone in a second. If anything, I bet the name ringed a bell, but he couldn't put a finger as to where he had heard it before.

"Yeah, sure. If you can shut the door, if you want." And oh, did I want to. My hands were shaking as I shut the door behind me and took a seat across from his desk. "What did you want to talk about?"

I froze. It was hard being in a room with him, especially since he clearly didn't remember anything from that night. I cleared my throat. "Do … do you remember what happened to you, about two months ago? Let's say … um, getting so trashed that you don't remember most of the night?"

His eyes widened. "Oh, you're the girl from the bar! Jill! Okay, I remember you now." There was a smile, but it was replaced by a frown. "What … what happened that night? I remember being at the bar, talking to you … and then the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a strange room across from the bar, completely naked."

I cleared my throat and avoided his eye contact. "Um, well, you kind of kept on downing the drinks. You were pretty miserable, but that's kind of understandable, given the situation … And, uh, well, one thing lead to another… And… um," I stopped. I couldn't go on. The tears were starting to form at the corner of my eyes again and I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

"Did we have sex?" Christian was so blunt with it! I took a deep breath in a pathetic attempt to control my breathing. Against my better judgment, I tore my gaze from the floor and forced myself to look him in the eyes.

"Yes," I whispered, and he cursed loudly. I fiddled with my thumbs as I broke away from our eye contact and Christian swore again. He was slowly putting the pieces together – if I was a one-night stand and nothing happened, then I wouldn't have been here… But if something _had _happened, then I would have a reason for being here. Christian was smart.

"That's not the reason you're here, though. Hey, look at me. I promise I won't get mad – hell, it's not even your fault. I was too drunk to think properly and make the right decisions, so this is completely on me."

That did it for me. The tears flew from my eyes as I looked up at him again. "No it's not! It's just as much as my fault is it is yours! I don't even know how it happened, we were safe – we used a condom … and, and, it still happened! You have a girlfriend! A beautiful, loving, girlfriend at that! I was supposed to go to law school, but I don't even know if that is going to happen anymore because of this!" I never said it directly, but it was implied as to what was wrong.

"Are … are you pregnant, Jill?"

I said nothing and he slammed his fist down on the desk. "Motherfucker," he said and I continued sobbing. "I'm not mad at you – please don't think that. I'm mad at myself." He bit his bottom lip and I could see his eyes starting to be overcome by misery. Christian was now in the same position I was in. My cell-phone vibrated in my pocket and I was never more thankful for the distraction.

"I … I have to go, Christian. I have to get back to work. I just … I needed to let you know." The claustrophobia was setting in; everything in this room was too close to me for my liking.

Christian nodded in understanding and tore off a piece of paper from his desk before writing a location on it. "Look, I get off tomorrow at five. If you can, meet me at that location around seven, and we can talk about this, alright?" I could hear the evident worry in his voice and was already dreading this conversation. "Don't … Don't be mad at yourself, Jill."

I hiccupped in response. Not be mad at myself? Was he mad? I said nothing in response as I shoved the piece of paper into my purse, turned on my heels, and walked out, slamming the door behind me. Surprisingly, I managed to keep my emotions in check as I walked out of the fire station and made my way to my car. Brent said something to me as I left, but I didn't hear him. I was in my own little world at this point.

I slid into my car and sat there for a few seconds before I shoved my keys into the ignition and turned on the car. It wasn't smart of me to be driving, especially since I was an emotional wreck, but I couldn't stay at the station any longer. It would begin to suffocate me, the longer I stayed. I took a deep breath and hit play on the radio, praying that the music would distract me.

It didn't. If anything, it allowed my thoughts to wander around freely even more. I muttered a string of curse words in frustration as I finally pulled into my office parking lot, noting that I had only been gone for about half an hour. I wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes with my wrist and stopped my car, pulling the keys out of the ignition.

Whether I liked it or not, I was going to have to face everyone soon, anyways.

* * *

><p><em>Oh, you wanted to see their talk? LOL too bad. (:<em>

_I think the next one will be Adrian's realization of Rose cheating on him. That one will be a fun one ... and after that will be the final and third part to this amazing trilogy. Trololol._

_Review or you don't get to see the third and final part. ):_


	4. I'll Be

_Yeah, I realize that the next one was supposed to be Adrian's realization about Rose cheating on him... but I just didn't do it. Or more so I have about half of it done and then I started this one... And, well, quite frankly, I just don't give a shit right now. I'm livid pissed. All I want to do is stay in Anchorage a few more days (I've been super busy with the swim team for the past two days, which is why I am posting this now) and I just found out that I have to work. On a mother fucking day that I requested off. And I'm the designated driver for my family. And I'm tired as fuck because I've was at a pool from fucking eight am until five pm doing absolutely nothing. Uh, yeah, today is not a good day._

_Either I have tomorrow ... or I find a sub and stay in Anchorage until Tuesday. But oh my god, guess what, I'm the only one who can work those times. Seriously fml fml fml fmlsd .gkdjkgd.s_

_Yeah. That's kind of why I really don't give a shit right now. I think the only thing I care about is people being like "Ew, Jill and Adrian? D:" Dude, if you don't like, trolol stfu. You don't have to read this one, y'know? K, kay._

_'Sides... I reread it and it made me happier. I guess that counts for something. xD_

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><p><strong>I'll Be<strong>_  
>"And I'll be your crying shoulder; I'll be love suicide. And I'll be better when I'm older… I'll be the greatest fan of your life"<br>_I'll Be, Edwin McCain._  
><em>

All I wanted right now was a drink. Unfortunately for me, the person I was with wouldn't let me have a drink. Or, well, she didn't have any liquor in her cabinets. I paced back and forth, wishing I could drown myself at the bottom of a bottle again.

Tonight had been just another one of my meetings with the divorce lawyer. _She_ had been there and it was damn painful. I had been at Jill's apartment for a little over an hour and I had spent the better part of it fighting back the tears forming in my eyes.

"Oh, stop pacing back and forth like that. Don't be all pissed off at me because you almost lost your damn job, since you apparently can't keep your emotions to yourself," Jill snapped. I flinched at her callous choice of words.

Ever since I had been put on probation due to my being intoxicated court, Jill had become something of my care-taker. She was pissed beyond all belief at me and I couldn't really understand why, per say. If I had to take a stab in the dark, I would have to guess it was the fact that I was her mentor … and I broke that dream for her. I plopped down on the couch and sighed.

"Don't give me that look, Jillian." Her eyes narrowed at the mention of her full name; she hated her full name. "I would be so much fucking happier if I could just have _one _bottle, and then everything would be alright. Why don't you keep liquor in your house anyways?"

"Because the last time I drank, I got pregnant." She was seething now. I pushed my brows together; that had been almost three years ago. "Now, are you going to stop being a big fucking baby and work are you just going to keep bitching about shit that's never going to change?" She slammed a stack of papers down on her table and I shrugged.

"God dammit, Adrian! Ever since you've been put on probation, all you do is fucking mope around. Look, I get it. I get that you're heartbroken because you were cheated on. Being cheated on is never easy and neither is finding out the person you love doesn't love you back," her voice cracked and I imagined she had her fair share of experiences like that in high school. "But _my God_, it's been eight months already!" Her hands were shaking. "Don't … don't yo…" She stopped.

This caught my attention. "You can finish your sentence, y'know. I'd love to hear what you have to say," I replied with a heavily sarcastic tone, and the tears were starting to well up in her eyes. Shit, I didn't mean to make her cry. Those tears were free-falling now and my heart tugged. I had never liked seeing Jill cry, and knowing that I had caused it made me sick to my stomach.

"Don't you see what you're doing to yourself? You're falling apart and it's killing me, Adrian! You don't eat, you don't sleep, you're on probation from excessive drinking… you aren't _yourself_. You're letting what happened between you and Rose dictate your life, when you shouldn't." Her voice sounded so broken, so helpless...

The bile rose in my throat as I looked at her. It was now that I realized she had finally reached her breaking point. Jill had eight months of pent up frustration regarding my situation, and that anger was only fueled as I started the downward spiral, plus a few personal issues regarding finances for her and Jackson. On top of that, I knew why this situation hit her harder than it would have hit anyone else; this was a situation close to home.

"Oh, Jailbait," I said as I got up from the couch. The thought didn't occur to me (nothing had occurred to me in the past couple of months) that she would be so emotionally distraught by this situation. I mentally kicked myself as I thought about this. Her father started out with a successful job and started a downward spiral with drinking. Suddenly, everything clicked in my mind. My mind went blank as I thought about this. What … what the hell was I doing?

She slumped the floor and shook with uncontrollable sobs. Within seconds, I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her, attempting to soothe her. It didn't work. If anything, it just made her even more upset.

"Don't touch me, Ivashkov," she growled as she pulled out of my grasp, but I held her tight. At this point, I wasn't going to let her go. After a few moments, her constant pushing faltered and she finally caved in. I ran my hand through her hair, noticing just how soft her untamable curls were.

"You're right. Hell, I've always know that you're right … but my father didn't teach me how to cope with issues that didn't involve drinking." _Like father, like son, _I thought bitterly. "Hey, look at me." She didn't at first, but my hand cupped her chin and I forced our eyes to lock. "I'm sorry; I really am. I know you're stressed because of your financial issues between you, Jackson and your law school, and I know that is somewhat of a close to home situation." Her crying ceased as she listened to my words and I was thankful for this. "And I know that you've pretty much become my rock for these past eight months and I … well, I already know that I'm a handful."

"Understatement of the century," she muttered and I chuckled. She tried to jerk away from my grasp on her chin, but I held my ground once again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Jill. You don't deserve this – hell, nobody deserves this. I… I want to change." And I did. It was sad that it took eight months for me to realize it, especially considering how I needed to see someone I really care about breakdown.

"That's what they all say! 'Oh, I'm sorry for what happened, I can change, I swear! Everything will be alright in the end!' But … _but they don't change, Adrian_."

"That's not true and you know it. There are plenty of people out there who change. You wanna know what it is that makes them change? They hit rock bottom." And I was at rock bottom. I was at rock bottom when I signed the damn divorce papers and hadn't been able to work my way out of it. "And I've hit my rock bottom. Hell, I've been at my rock bottom for a couple of months… But there's also some type of trigger that makes them want to get out of it. I've seen that trigger – it was like the sky was bleeding fucking rainbows, I swear to God."

She mustered up a laugh, but it was weak. I gave her a small, tight, smile. "I'm going to get out of this, Jill and it kills me that it took eight months for me to realize that. Actually, it took you breaking down for me to realize that." Her eyes were still glassy, which was still just as painful to look at. I released my hold on her chin and I pushed a stray hair out of her face before stroking her left cheek. "I really, _really _don't like seeing you cry. Please don't cry; I'm not worth it." I leaned in and kissed her forehead as I finished my sentence.

Her face flushed and she mumbled something underneath her breath, which only perked my interest. My stomach did a backflip as I noticed just how adorable she looked with the blush on her cheeks. Hell, the more I looked at her, the more adorable she looked in general. "What was that?" A smirk formed on my lips as I looked at her and her face just got redder by the minute.

"You are worth it," she mumbled under her breath, but it was loud enough for me to hear. A true smile formed on my face - something I hadn't done in awhile - as I looked at her. She looked like a radish with her red face, which was amusing. But it wasn't how she looked - although that was obviously part of it - it was her words that touched me and caused my mind to blank.

I didn't hesitate. Instead, I closed the distance between us, capturing her lips against mine. I had kissed her twice before in a very emotional (and drunk) state, and her lips still felt just as soft as I remembered. Jill whimpered as I slid my hand into her hair, pulling her closer towards me. She was kissing me back, but there was slight hesitance. But as soon as my tongue traced along her lower lip and she granted me entrance, the hesitation all but disappeared.

Our position was slightly awkward, but that didn't matter. The kiss with Jill shared a spark – something I had never truly felt before. Actually, I never really had felt something like this before. My lips felt like they were on fire and I fought the urge to shiver as I slowly pushed her to the floor, taking pleasure in how cold the wood felt against my burning skin. Our kisses were turning from slow and passionate to hungry and burning with desire.

It was only when I decided to push up on her shirt did she break away from my grasp.

"Stop."

I did, but my mind was incoherent. Why did she want me to stop? If anything, she should have been begging for more… I looked down at her with my head titled to the side, a curious expression written all over my face. Her body squirmed underneath me (probably an escape to get out), but that didn't actually, ah, help my current situation.

"Before we do this, I need to you to promise me one thing. And I don't mean some bullshit promise; I want you to look me in the eyes and truly mean your words when you promise me this. Do you understand?"

I made a face as I thought about this. It had been almost a year since I had sex and I knew that if I didn't think this over, I would regret that decision and say yes simply for the sex. But this was Jill – small, precious, Jailbait – and I didn't want to hurt her in any way, physical and emotional. The thought of it … it was too much.

"Yes," I finally said after a few moments of silence.

She sighed. "I … I want you to reassure me that this isn't going to be a one night stand because you can't deal with your emotional problems. Please, for the love of God, promise me that this isn't just one god damn night stand … and … and that something will actually come out of this." Her voice broke at the last part, which I suspected was from the nerves.

Her words had me doing a double-take. The hint was clear: if you want to have sex with me, then you need to be willing to try a relationship with me. Her words made a lot of sense, given how a one night stand was how she wound up with Jackson.

The silence was thick and I could see the worry in her eyes. The worry increased as the time went on, and I finally broke it with a smile as I gave her a chaste kiss against her lips.

"I promise."

And I kept that promise until two years later, when I got down on one knee and promised her forever.

* * *

><p><em>Next up is the final part to the Jill and Christian trilogy. Which, I actually have halfway done... but it'll be a little while before I finish that one. (;<em>


	5. Whatcha Say

_And... and here it is! The final part to the Christian/Jill trilogy._ _This is a lot longer that I really intended to be, but overall, I'm quite pleased with it. There's a good chance I'm going to do more focusing on this situation. Ahh hell, I might. I seriously added like ten to my list of outtakes ... but I have like three to four Rose and Dimitri ones. Anyone else got any other suggestions? I know you have more. ;D_

_Trololol. Oh, just so you know, I'm working on a oneshot called 'The Bitch Came Back'. It's an Adrian POV oneshot, with hints aimed towards ... someone. To be honest, I haven't decided if it's either Rose, Sydney or Jill yet. I guess we'll find out eventually. :P_

_Remember, I'm still on facebook, biznitches. 'Sliad Fanfiction' - that's where you can find me. Add mee. (:_

_Okay. That's it. I swear._

* * *

><p><strong>Whatcha Say<strong>_  
>"Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out, I just didn't know what to do…"<br>_Whatcha Say, Jason DeRulo_.  
><em>

I was a dead man.

That fact was almost unavoidable. When the truth came out to my beautiful girlfriend … well, she wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore. I racked my brain as to how to properly explain this to her, but it was almost impossible. There was no easy way to say it, expect for _Honey, I cheated on you and the girl's pregnant_. Being blunt was the best way to go … but it was also the worst.

I slammed my fist down on the table out of frustration. I was so frustrated at myself; I couldn't believe it. I had just gotten back from my dinner with Jill, my baby mamma, for lack of a better description. It had been incredibly painful, but we finally reached an agreement – I wouldn't be a dominant figure in the baby's life (perhaps an Uncle, if that), but in order to compensate for it, I would provide child support- although, child support might not be the best way to describe it, considering how it was very hush, hush and under the table.

If she was happy with the agreement, then I was as well. I felt nothing but incredible guilt as to what I had done, both because of Lissa and because of Jill. It was almost ironic that Jill was the one who truly insisted that I got on with my life and stayed with Lissa; she didn't want to cause an unavoidable rift-raft between the two of us. And Lissa … well, she didn't deserve any of this. Lissa was the caring, beautiful girl that I knew who loved me just as much as I loved her.

I took a deep breath as I heard the door slam. Lissa was home, which meant that I could get this over with sooner rather than later. It was time for me to grow a pair of balls and face my girlfriend. I heard her drop her keys and I moved my way out of the bedroom and to the living room, where she was plopped down on the couch.

"Babe, we need to talk."

All it took was for me to say five words and her senses went on high alert. I could see the fear in her eyes as the words registered in her mind; we need to talk was never a good sign. She made a move to leave her seat, but I held my hand up to stop her. My hands were trembling by the time I sat down on the couch.

Her glare was killing me. It wasn't a hateful glare – not yet – but it was full of curiosity, and that was even worse. I opened my mouth to speak, but I closed it again as I couldn't find the right words. Eventually, I placed my head in my palms, admitting defeat.

"I fucked up, babe. I fucked up _real _bad," I started, and just like that, the words started coming out easily. "I … I need you to listen and not be pissed – not until the very end, at least. Please, for fuck's sake, just hear me out on this one… and then be pissed off all you want at the end; I deserve it."

I told her _everything _of that night – the parts I could remember, at least. I told her how I felt regarding our relationship, how I was damn scared, how I was upset over my trainers death, and most importantly, I told her about Jill. I didn't pause between my stories, even if there was a two month gap. I told her exactly what Jill had told me, and I stopped there. I wasn't going to tell her about the decision until I saw her reaction.

There was silence for a few moments before I felt a hand slap my cheek, and _Christ_, did it hurt. Yup, Lissa was pissed. Lissa didn't believe in physical violence (other than in the bedroom), and the fact that she had slapped me … Yeah, she was livid pissed.

"Get the hell out of my house. I don't care. Pack your shit and _get the fuck out_."

She didn't need to tell me twice. I did as I was asked; I made my way into the bedroom, grabbed my duffel bag, packed my clothes, and left without another word. I didn't even bother trying to fight it – I deserved _everything_ she had done or said so far.

As I stepped out onto the patio and saw her retreating figure through the window, I could feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.

_**One Month Later…**_

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we need to go over there by the police officers." This was the frustrating part of the job; when people didn't listen to you. Where the hell was Rose? My eyes scanned for her and when I eventually found her, I sighed in relief. I motioned for her to come over and she did so. "Rose, would you be kind enough to tell the nice lady that she needs to go across the street?" We couldn't go in until she was moved.

Rose bit her bottom lip and I smirked as I put on my mask. She was amused because I was frustrated that this damn woman wouldn't leave. She turned to the women and gave her her famous 'I'm not taking your bullshit' stance. "Ma'am, if you don't follow our instructions, there will be consequences," she told the woman, who looked slightly terrified. I took that as my queue to leave. I waved her off after I secured the helmet on around my neck.

After that, my mind was focused on one thing: getting that child out of the house. My heart clenched as I thought about the child – a young girl, who was perhaps only three years old. She was stuck in the house that was getting ready to burn down to the ground… She had no idea if she was going to live or not. My mind was honed in one this one subject, for which I was thankful. For once, I wasn't thinking about Lissa as I did my job.

I put the oxygen mask against my mouth and said my prayers as I moved forward. I was going in alive and going out the same way; that was my motto. I pushed through the front door with an axe in my hand and was hit by a flame of fire that made me take a step back… No, I couldn't go back now. It was really all or nothing at this point. It was moments like this that made me thankful that my suit wasn't going to burn on contact. The smoke was starting to get to me, even through the mask. The fire was loud and it was almost impossible to hear, but I kept my ears open until I heard the faint little cries from that little girl.

I would have run if the suit would have allowed me to. She was on the first floor, but she was in the very back of the house. It was the whole left side of the house that had gone up in flames, and if I was right, she would have been on the right side. _Get the girl. Get the girl. Get the girl. Get the girl. _

Something snapped behind me, and I barely had a chance to look up. It was one of those moments were you whole life flashes before your own eyes and you just can't breathe. Images of my childhood, college, Rose, Adrian … Lissa … they passed through my mind as I saw the roof cave in above my head.

Everything was blank after that. I could faintly recall a few details, such as the beeping of the heart monitor and Rose's frantic voice as she screamed at Mason … but that was about it. I was awake long before I could open my eyes. I could hear the voices of Rose, Mason, Adrian and Lissa and every time I tried to open my mouth or open my eyes, it was impossible.

_"How is he doing? Is he okay?"_

_"They said a week, maybe. I'm not sure. They think he can hear us, but he can't physically do anything to open his eyes or talk…"_

Their words blanked out again and I drifted off into another deep sleep. The only thing that woke me up was a sharp prick in my arm and my eyes flung open. The room I was in was way too damn bright for me to comprehend – and white. Yes, it was way too white.

I opened my mouth to speak, but found it impossible, once again. There was something in my throat and it was starting to freak me out. I scanned my eyes for the person (nurse?) in my room and I could hear my heart rate accelerate when I saw who it was.

"Sweetheart, I need you to calm down. There's a tube in your throat that's been helping you breathe. On the count of three, I'm going to take it out. I need you to exhale with me as I do this, on the count of three, alright? Ready? One, two, three." I exhaled as hard as I could and felt the tube slide out of my throat. It was one of the more painful experiences I had ever felt in my life.

I coughed as I lay back down on the bed in an attempt to recollect my thoughts. I had been going into a burning building on Tudor to save a little girl. I was halfway through the house when the roof caved in. I could recall bits and pieces of being in the ambulance and people talking … and I was now in a hospital. And my head hurt like a son of a bitch.

"Jesus-fucking-Christ, it's bright in here," I moaned as I put a hand to my head. I heard her chuckle next to me as she adjusted the bed so I was moving up to a sitting position. All I wanted to do was look away; I didn't want to see her. It had been a month – a long, miserable – month since I had seen her… And all the guilt came washing back.

"There's nothing I can do about that," she said softly as she took a seat next to me. She reached a hesitant hand out towards mine and locked our hands together. God, her hands felt so warm and smooth … Damn, how long had I been out? And more importantly, what the hell happened? "You've been out about two weeks, though you'd come and go. They got the girl, but they don't know if she's going to make it. She's in a coma and has been since you've been here… but nobody really knows."

This is what I loved about Lissa. She just _knew _what to say based off the looks on my face. I bit my bottom lip as I looked at her; God, I missed her so damn much…

"Christian…"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't know why you're here. Isn't there something about working with a patient you know? I think that goes against the code," I stated as I refused to look her in the eyes. How on earth could I live with myself knowing that I let our love go, based off one stupid decision?

"Babe, please, will you shut up?" I looked at her when she called me 'babe.' I hadn't heard her call me babe in what felt like forever (but really had only been a month). She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. "I'm not really a nurse, I'm an intern, so it doesn't really apply, anyways." Her lips formed a tight smile as she traced small circles underneath my thumb.

"I… I want to apologize for kicking you out. I … I don't know about you, but this last month has been miserable for me. I know you messed up – we all make mistakes – and I know that the consequences of this particular mistake is huge…" She looked like she was going to cry. "I love you. I really love you, Christian Ozera. And I _know _you … I know doing something … something like _that_ isn't in your personality … and I know that drinking impairs the judgment… God, I was so pissed at you. I was pissed until Rose called me…"

She was crying now. "She was frantic on the phone, y'know? She said that you had gone in, the building had collapsed, and you were nowhere to be seen. I lost it then. I … I didn't know if you where dead or alive or what the hell had happened… and she stayed on the phone with me until EMS pulled out of the rubble. You were alive, but barely… The smoke was in your lungs, you had a couple of broken ribs, a third degree concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and a broken ankle… They … they were afraid that you weren't going to make it, mainly because of the smoke and toxin in your lungs…"

I listened to her story very carefully as she filled in the pieces. She got more emotional as the story went on and I opened my arms to her, afraid of her reaction. Lissa didn't think; she just acted and threw herself into my awaiting arms and started sobbing into my hospital gown. I winced at the pain and she shifted her position so I couldn't feel it.

I kissed the top of her head. "I know what I didn't wasn't clever … but me and you? We're… we're meant to be together, Liss. All… All I ask is for another chance to really be your man." Her whole body was shaking and I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could, but it was hard given my current injures. "I … I love you, too," I finally breathed, thankful the words could come out in piece. How long had I been waiting to say those three words?

She pulled away, her jade eyes still glassy. "You're … you're going to have to earn my trust back. I mean, I trust you – I trust you more than I probably should … but…"

I pressed my lips up to hers for a quick kiss. "I understand." And I truly did; I was just ecstatic that she was going to give me another chance, considering all things. If she was going to give me another chance, I was going to take it. I was going to show her just how much I believed we were meant to be together forever.

My index finger cupped her chin as I closed the distance between us. The kiss was passionate, but held heavy tints of hunger. I could feel the smile spreading on my lips as we stayed in the lip-lock. For the past month, I had been miserable… and now, that misery was going to out the window. It was going to be a long, hard, road … but in the end, it was going to be worth it. Regrettably, I pulled away from soft lips, but kept our foreheads touching and our eyes locked.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p><em>And then they got married and had three children together. The ChristianLissa proposal is in my list of outtakes, actually. ;D_

_Up next... Well, I'm not sure. It's probably going to be the proposal with Rose and Dimitri. I haven't really done anything with them lately. But, this is subject to change... but expect that one, if anything. ;)_


	6. Far Away

_Ugh. Okay, first off, I'm having a serious formatting issue with fanfiction and it's bugging the hell out of me, so please, for the love of God, ignore that damn line break. Fuck you, fanfiction. Why can't you be simple? Why do you have to be a pain in my ass?  
><em>

_Secondly, Happy Halloween! My plans include going to the mall as Red Riding Hood with my two college friends and harassing the town. Fuck yeahh. (:_

_Lastly, this one is short. Like, really short. I guess that's okay, though - as it is just the proposal with Rose and Dimitri. And I really want to work on 'The Bitch Came Back', so yeah._

* * *

><p><strong>Far Away<strong>_  
>"Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I'd give it all, I'd give for us. Give anything, but I won't give up."<em>  
>Far Away, Nickelback<p>

* * *

><p>"It's damn cold outside. What the hell were you thinking? Can't we just stay home and sleep? That sounds like a better idea. Or, we could, y'know, do other things that involve a bed…"<p>

I chuckled as I pressed a hand to her swollen stomach. "We did that last night… and this morning… and in the shower…. And half an hour ago. Don't get me wrong, I love your sex drive, but people need a break. _Especially _you," I replied and she frowned. She knew I was right and it was killing her; I kept a smirk on my face as I quickly kissed her lips. "Besides, you've been bitching about getting fresh air for awhile."

And she had. For the past month or so, Rose had been on desk duty, due to the fact that she didn't want to risk losing the baby. It was slowly killing her to be on desk duty, but she managed to cope well. As a result of the desk duty, she spent all of her time indoors and hadn't had the time to 'venture out', as she had put it.

"You try working the desk duty with a huge ass stomach," she mumbled under her breath as I zipped up my coat. I laughed and locked our hands together as I opened the door. It was December and it was damn cold outside. She shivered as the cold air hit her face and she huddled closer to me. I wrapped an arm around her waist as her head rested in my chest.

It was only when we started walking down the stairs that the nerves started to settle in. We had been in a relationship for about two years now … and I didn't really know if this was going to work out well. I was terrified for what would happen, the no that all men feared… I considered Rose to be my soul mate, and I was pretty sure she felt the same about me … But did that mean she would say yes?

I shoved a gloved hand into my pocket and felt the tiny black box. I had bought the ring a little over two weeks ago and I liked to think that I had done a damn good job of keeping it hidden and not dropping hints as to what may come. Most guys when they were about to propose tended to get distant, but I refused to do that – I knew it was almost a dead giveaway, plus I didn't want her to think that I was leaving her, especially with our baby on the way.

We walked for fifteen minutes in the bitter cold and finally found our way in the park we so frequently visited. It was a small park, and since it was nearing ten o'clock at night in December, it was almost empty. There were a few couples here and there, but I didn't think that anyone would be in the place that I planned on going. The moon was shining overhead and the night was just beautiful, minus the fact that it was damn cold outside.

All was going well so far. I could just hope that it would stay like that for the rest of the night.

We walked in silence until we arrived at the lake. There was a small deck that overlooked the lake, along with a bench. I knew that by now, her feet would be starting to swell and that she would be tired – being six months pregnant apparently did that to you. I kissed her on the forehead as I lead her to the small deck, and that was when my hands started shaking. I shoved my hand into my pocket to hide my nerves, but it was almost impossible.

The deck was slippery, but we held our ground as we walked towards the railing. Rose loosened her grip from me and gripped the railing, looking out as much as she could; it was becoming increasingly hard for her to do simple things with her pregnant stomach.

"Wow, it's so beautiful right now." I nodded my head in agreement as I also took the rail, which prevented my hands from spazzing out.

We stayed in silence for a few moments, and suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. The longer I waited, the more I was going to start to freak out. The sweat was forming on my face and it was becoming harder to breathe. Instead, I took her tiny hands into mine and turned her towards me.

"Roza…" I hesitated for a moment as she looked at me with curious eyes. I knew I was done for with that one look in her eyes. It was at that moment that I dropped down onto one knee, completely ignoring the snow covered ground or the fact that my jeans would get wet. I watched her carefully as her eyes widened in shock and fear. She knew what was coming.

I had a whole speech planned in my head about how much I loved her and how much she truly meant to me, but that went out the window as soon as the snow assaulted my knee. I could see the very clear fear in her eyes and I felt my throat close up. Was it too soon after her divorce from Adrian? It had been two years… I liked to think that it hadn't; hell, Adrian was remarried himself.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out the little black box. My hands were obviously shaking right now, but I couldn't tell if Rose noticed. If anything, she looked like she wasn't trying to cry, which made my heart tug. I opened the box, which revealed the engagement ring. It had a silver band with a small, diamond heart on it; sweet and to the point, exactly how she would have wanted it.

"Roza, will you marry me?"

The silence was going to kill me. The tears were falling freely from her beautiful eyes and I bit my lip as I waited for her response. Shit, maybe it was too soon… My heart was pounding and I was pretty sure she could hear it.

But Rose still didn't say anything. Her actions spoke louder than words. She leaned down to my level and threw her arms around me as her lips crashed against mine. Her kiss was passionate and held no hunger, which was different from what I had been feeling for the past couple of months. I wrapped my arms around her as I stood up and kissed her back.

We stayed in the lip-lock for a few more seconds before I pulled back. Her face was flushed, her makeup was smeared from the crying, and her lips were swollen. Even while messy, she still looked beautiful. I held her as close as I could while being mindful of the growing child between us. The cold wind whipped at our faces as she smiled.

"Is that a yes?"

Her smile grew wider. "Of course that's a yes."

* * *

><p><em>I like to think that his proposal would be short, sweet, and too the point, but that's just me. Or maybe I didn't feel the need to write something super elaborate. Yeah, that one works too. Not sure what I'm going to do next. It's either going to be ChristianLissa's proposal or Jill/Adrian's proposal. Knowing me, it will probably be Jill and Adrian... hahaha. _


	7. Love Drunk

_You guys should thank The Hunger Games trailer for this. It seriously got me motivated enough to finish writing this part. (: But seriously... Who else thought Haymitch was bald? I didn't think he had hair! Hahahaha.  
><em>

_Anyways, this was supposed to be another proposal... but I was feeling in the mood to write something with Sydney. So, I wrote Sydney and her mysterious American solider. (;_

_Btdubz, I have yet to meet anyone who supports this pairing. It saddens me greatly. ):_

_And remember.. I'm still on facebook, so add me. There's a link in my profile. And, if you haven't already, go check out my new story, 'How to Love' and my new oneshot, 'Never Again.' Okay? Okay. (:_

* * *

><p><strong>Love Drunk<br>**_"I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover. I'll love you forever, forever is over."  
><em>Love Drunk, Boys Like Girls.

London was every bit as beautiful as I remembered. Of course, I had only spent a couple of days in London, simply in passing on my way to Italy and Greece… but regardless, it was still just as lovely. The people were a lot nicer than they were in America, that was for sure.

I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair, obviously lost. The directions to the small café were obviously wrong. That stupid receptionist had lied to me. My hands clenched together as I held my bag, wondering how far away I was from the café. My hotel was two blocks away, and the receptionist had said that the café was only two, with the café being in the middle of the block…

Or maybe my sense of direction was off.

Actually, that was probably the most likely. I could flourish in Italy, Greece, Germany, France… but in an English speaking country? Yeah, not so much. But, given my current stress level, this was something I should have expected. On top of being pregnant, I was still facing the negative repercussions for dating and almost marrying an international criminal… Rest assured that my brother and sister in law had told me that it wasn't my fault, that it was easy to be oblivious…

Still, that nagging feeling never went away. This was obvious karma for not waiting to have sex until I was married. Why didn't I listen to my overbearing mother? _Bad things will happen to you if you don't wait until marriage. _

Too right she was.

"You look a little lost. Can I help you?" The voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I frowned. Did I really look that lost? I turned to my left to find the source of the voice and blinked twice as I looked at him.

He was tall and very well built. The shirt he was wearing wasn't exactly helping him hide his amazingly toned body, as well… He had tanned skin, brown eyes, and black hair that looked its way to be growing out of a buzz-cut. I gave him a small smile.

"Is it that obvious?" I hugged my purse closer to my body. There was something about this guy that had me standing on the tip of my toes; it was unexplainable but … but it made me slightly uneasy. What if he was like Angelo? What if _he _turned out to be a criminal? I fought the urge to shake my head; my thoughts were getting ridiculous. I didn't even know the guys name!

"Just a little bit," he responded with a light laugh. He was also American, which had me raising my eyebrows. "And I know that I'm American, but I spent about two years here, so I like to think that I know my way around here pretty well." He held out his hand and I felt the urge to step back. Why was he being so friendly with me? "My name's Trey Juarez. I'd be more than happy to help you find our way."

Against my better judgment, I shook his hand in return. His skin felt smooth against mine and I could already picture his hands up against my body… "Um, thank you. The receptionist I got directions from doesn't have a great sense of direction." He chuckled and I smiled. "I'm Sydney Sage."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he stated and I snorted. The smile he gave me was dazzling, but that uneasy feeling wouldn't go away. "Where are you heading too?"

"Uh." I opened my purse and fumbled around in it, looking for the address to where I had written down the name of the café. After a moment, I finally found it. "It's called The Bat Cave." The name made me chuckle every time I heard it. Seriously, who named their café The Bat Cave? It was clever; I would give the owner that.

He gave me another warm smile as he told me the directions. When he told me the directions, I wanted to slap myself. Apparently, I had walked right past the stupid café and had missed it. I was three blocks away from my hotel, not two. Trey said that it would only take a few seconds for me to get there, given how I was just barely on the third block.

When he was done giving me the directions, the awkward silence came between us. I wanted to mutter a simple 'thank you' and be on with my life… But I couldn't bring myself to do it. There was something about this man that intrigued me – and it scared me to death.

"Would you care to join me?" I asked with a slightly timid voice.

But Trey didn't hesitate. The smile on his face reached his eyes. "I'd love too."

* * *

><p>"How about ten truths?"<p>

I took a sip of my tea and considered this. I could already see everything going downhill from here… but I threw caution to the wind at this point. I wanted to know more about Trey, and this was definitely a way to break the ice, given how we had met only a mere half an hour ago.

"Sounds good to me, but you're starting," I responded and his lips twitched up into a smirk. He took a sip of his coffee before he leaned back in his chair.

"I'm a captain in the army." That explained the uneasy feeling I felt about him. Trey was an American soldier and naturally had a lethal vibe about him. It made my mind at ease knowing that his intentions, unlike Angelo's, were for good. "I dropped out of high school to join the army, actually. I enjoy taking pictures, though they turn out incredibly blurry. I've got an older sister and a younger brother. I make a mean tuna sandwich. I speak Spanish fluently and can get around in Italian and French…"

Trey paused and I gave him a wide smile.

"That's five, not ten. You've still got five more to go."

He quirked an eyebrow. "I'm thinking! How about you start off with your five? That will give me plenty of time to think."

I snorted. "Maybe you're just a boring person," I teased. The look on his face was questioning me, and I sighed. "Okay… I work with George Washington University in Washington, D.C, studying Greek and Roman architecture. I've been obsessed with said architecture since I was a little girl. I have an older brother, who's a lethal defense lawyer. I'm better at making oriental food… and I can speak five languages fluently, including Spanish."

Trey let out a low whistle. "And here I was, trying to impress you. Looks like it's the other way around. Five languages, really? Damn, that's impressive. Um, okay. Wow, you've kind of left me speechless… but I'll give it a shot anyways." He took another sip of his coffee. "I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd. I'm also a huge Green Bay Packers fan. I absolutely loathe the Steelers. I played football in high school… and I'm still recovering from a bad break up."

He frowned. I could read the expression on his face; he couldn't understand why he had said that, but he had.

"What a shame, because I think the Steelers kick major ass." For the most part, I didn't care about football – but Adrian loved football, and the Steelers were his team… it sort of rubbed off on me. "I ran cross country in high school. I'm completely in love with anything science fiction. I was a straight A student." I paused in an attempt to control my thoughts. Unfortunately, my mind was in overdrive and everything tumbled out before I could stop my train of thought. "I'm three and a half months pregnant… and the father of the baby was an international criminal."

I sucked in a breath as I could feel the tears form in my eyes. Well, I figured it was probably better to let him know now instead of later. I broke away from his eye contact and stared down at my tea. I was finding it incredibly hard to control my emotions, thanks to this damn pregnancy.

There was a heavy silence between us and I fought the urge to look up. I wanted to look up and see what Trey's expression was, but I didn't. I knew that if I did, then the tears would start to flow even more so than they already were. Even if I had only known Trey for a little under an hour, I already liked him. Why did I have to be so stupid and just blur that out right away? The pregnancy was obvious… but the baggage was not.

A warm hand clasped my shaking one, which was enough to make me look up at him. What I saw surprised me. He didn't look upset, but merely curious. He rubbed small circles into my skin, which I found soothing.

"Hey now, don't cry," Trey said, his tone soft. "That's tragic and I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through… but if that was an attempt to get rid of me, it didn't work."

I let out a strangled laugh. The joke was terrible, but it did make me smile.

"I'm serious, though. Yes, that's sort of a big thing – hell, that's a huge thing. But, I don't believe that dictates who you are. You're a human being. You made a decision and something bad happened because of it. That was then and this is now."

_That was then and this is now. _

It was like his words ignited a fire in my body. My posture changed as our eyes locked. I could see the warmth and slight understanding in his eyes… At that point, I knew. It was ineffable, the emotion I felt… I was sick of complaining about a beautiful life.

_That was then and this is now._

The words were going to become my new mantra.

I wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes with my wrist as I smiled. "I'm sorry; being pregnant has left me an emotional wreck."

"There's no need to apologize." His words were sincere and they touched my heart. "But like I said earlier; that's not going to make me run. Don't try to scare me off now," he teased and I managed a small laugh.

"I'll try not to."

* * *

><p><em>I seriously love this pair. I know it won't happen in Bloodlines, but my God, it's going to happen in my fanfictions. Deal. :D<em>

_Next up will be something Rose and Dimitri. I feel like they've been neglected. Or maybe it will be something Jill and Adrian; I've been in a very Jill and Adrian mood lately. Regardless, the next two chapters will be something Rose and Dimitri and something Jill and Adrian. (:_


End file.
